Nightwisp

7th September 2012

Post reblogged from Falleces Sunt Rerum Species with 40,362 notes

if you’re american and eligible to vote

please

vote

for

obama

Europe is begging you

Tagged: trueplease americausa

Source: xoxo-gossip-gay

17th August 2012

Post with 1 note

Lies

Have you ever made up a lie so great that destroys a relationship? Not a easily to break romantic relationship but a family one, based on trust and respect of many years?

I buried myself in one, I didn’t tell my parents that I was failing college because I was afraid they would be disappointed, so I carried on telling them everything was going great when the truth was far from it. Three years passed wraped up in this lie and I couldn’t do it anymore, it hurt so bad looking them in the eye and continue to lie about it, but I am weak, too weak and continued to lie about everything that was going on. And now after weeks and weeks of crying myself to sleep I finally told my mother and I was right, she was disappointed, but not about the fact that I was failing college but for the fact that I was lying about it and I knew, I knew it would come to this and I’m so, so sorry I did it, but now I can’t do anything to fix it anymore. My mother surprinsingly didn’t yell or shout, she was just sad and seeing that sadness in her face hurt more than I ever could have imagined, but she still stood by me telling me I could still fix it, change course to something I really liked. Nothing I thought would happen happened, she didn’t threaten me to get me out of college, she just stood there, sad look in her face, but still giving me hope of a better future, she’s a much better mother than I ever give her credit for and I’m truly sorry to not have acknowleged it sooner.

Now I will make probably one of my last travels to my college town, to spend the weekend with my boyfriend, another heartache to come, I haven’t been with him for more than 2 weeks now and what I thought would be a romantic reunion will have to be a sit down and talk heartache reunion. I don’t want to break up with him, he’s been the best thing that ever happened to me in these last three years, but I don’t know if our relationship will survive this. I know I love him truly and completely, but I’m not sure if distance and heartache will make his love for me survive throught time, one thing is certain I will always love him, no matter what happens he will always have a place in my heart.

Monday will come and so will the revelation about my college failure to my father, that’s one conversation I cannot imagine, it will be ugly, it will be sad, not for my failure but from hiding it for three years. I don’t know what will happen after that, will I have another shot at college? Will I get forgiveness? I don’t deserve it, whatever he decides I will be fine with it. I just wish I could take away the heartache that I will surely cause.

So, that’s it, I don’t know if anyone will read this, but if you do, I hope you take a lesson from this. It doesn’t matter how much you’re afraid, tell the truth right away. It will only cause more heartache if you don’t. And some heartaches can’t be fixed, I can only hope I can still fix this one.

Tagged: liesliarlieparentsmotherfatheri'm sorryheartbreakrelationshipfragilecollegefailureI will always love youmomdadboyfriend